Communication Exception

I have always felt that my oral skills are not good enough, not even as good as my written skills. Couple of events a few days ago reconfirmed this belief.

It was Friday evening. The busy week was coming to an end. We had got out of a team meeting. One of the relevant points made by the manager was said to a colleague (RS), specifics about how she should send the status update mail before leaving for the day. After a few minutes, I was looking for a friend of mine (TK), and I found him in RS's cubicle. She was drafting the mail and was about to send it. I just had a glance at it and noticed that the manager had specifically asked her to do something else. I pointed out the issue, and instead of thanking me, for some reason, she felt that I was trying to confuse her. This put me off. Later, TK started to talk to her about some issue that I had brought up earlier in the day. RS just waved it off, telling TK that he shouldnt believe what I say. That blew my top off. Perhaps this attitude was a general approach taken because I kid around a lot. But, such generalization is not good for the team. Even my good intentions were not taken with the right approach. So, I decided to not say another word to her for the rest of the day. Highly unprofessional of myself, I must say, but there you have it. I felt something went wrong in the way I have communicated to her.

On the next day, a friend of mine asked me if I could help her out with some money, as she was planning to buy a house. She had the same kind of job that I had, and since I felt she was financially as secure as I was, I gave a very frank reply. I told her that I like to help only those people who dont have other means to. For example, I would help out one of my neighbours back home, an auto-rickshaw driver. Or I would help out my cousin when he doesnt have other means. But, why should I help out this friend of mine, as she could as well take a housing loan. I told all this very frankly to her. And I guess, you can expect the result. She didnt like my response. She said, she didnt need the money then, but was just seeing which of her friends could help when the time comes. And with such a response, she wouldnt approach me even if she felt the need. I believed I was right in my own way, but I was wrong in communicating it properly.

I am reminded of a story from my school days. Person A is desperately in need of some money. He finds a friend of his, B on the beach. When asked, B responds saying that he was just taking a stroll on the beach and had come without any cash. A is livid at this response and says that B was just making an excuse. A approaches C, another friend of his. C mentions that A is late by just a few minutes, as he claims to have given all the money he had with him to another friend of his. A is happy by this response and thanks C. But, in truth, C told a lie and didnt share the money he had on him at that moment. Yeh duniya hai!