What am I doing?

Ah, the eternal questions - Who am I? What am I doing? What am I supposed to do? Where can I look for my mission console in this game of life? Haven't got a clue so far. :-)

So, let me try to answer a few questions that I believe I have an answer for. For starters, what am I doing here when India is playing a cricket match right now. Answer - Sachin got out.

I read this somewhere recently - as anyone who has driven on Indian roads would have noticed, Indians are very competitive. This also came up when I was discussing problems at work with one of my previous project managers, when he mentioned that it was like people breaking traffic rules on Indian roads - it shouldn't happen, but it happens a lot. So, the question here is why does this happen? I guess its due to the competitiveness that comes up in India. You don't get anything on a platter in this country. Even if its your right, you need to grab it before someone else does.

Another example of this was when I was in the gym the other day. It happened when I was just about to use an equipment. I thought I should have asked people around me whether they are still using it. If it were the US, I would have done it. But, I didn't do it here. Why? Perhaps, the difference here is the population density. I would have to ask 4 guys as compared to 1 in the US. So, the reasoning here is "use it, unless someone complains about it". This also reminds me of another funny quote from a project manager having Indian roots and working in Los Angeles. He used to say "I would rather ask for forgiveness than ask for permission."

And to continue on my previous posting, we won another football match today, and without our lead players. We seem to be making a habit of doing it against the odds. We beat the league toppers, to become the league toppers. :-) The team is undefeated so far and all league matches are over. Hope we continue the form in the finals as well. November has been good so far.

That's it for now. There are quite a few random thoughts here. Perhaps, next time, I would be able to arrange them in an order to make more sense.

Why does it happen?

Sometimes, I wonder why it happens.

"Do you believe in fate, Neo?" I ask that question to myself quite often. But, I never come up with a satisfying reply. It's pretty similar to another oft-repeated question of mine: "Who am I a better fan of - Mammootty or Mohanlal?" But perhaps, it doesn't matter, since I am a better Amitabh Bachchan fan. Similarly, perhaps it doesn't matter whether I am a believer of fate, or God, or some super-human, super-natural force. Sometimes, certain events make you sit up and take notice.

Last month, someone told me November would turn out to be a good month for me. I gave it my usual cynical reply.

Nov 1st - We were the defending champions. But, a team is only as good as its players. With most of the players missing from last year , we were actually not the favorites to win the match. But, we did the unexpected and came up trumps. Not that I was the star player of the day - I rarely have been. But, winning that game suddenly gave me that surge of energy that was missing for quite a few days. And before I forget to mention this, it was a game of football/soccer.

Nov 3rd - We were working on this project for the last 10 months or so. I had put in my best efforts for at least 8 of these, giving between 12 to 20 hours every day, working even on weekends and holidays, and without much appreciation either. We were looking forward to another gruelling month or so. Suddenly, on this day, I heard from my colleagues that this project was called off by the client CIO. I felt quite elated that I didn't have to toil for another month with a tired mind. To be honest, I also felt a bit melancholic, since it felt as if all our effort over the past 10 months just withered away. I had mixed emotions. It felt as if Sachin had scored a century and India still managed to lose the match.

Nov 5th - We come to office, are at our desks, but the atmosphere has been covered with a blanket of anti-climax. What are we supposed to do today? Let's go to the food court, my cubicle-mate suggested. In the food court, I have a few seconds of wit with the servers. Lost in my thoughts, I come face to face with the one whom I would have liked to come face to face quite often. But, as usual, I find it difficult to say a word. Never mind, perhaps thats how I would like it to be. Another lucky day?

Sometimes, I wonder why it happens.

Another first

I finally found time to get on board the blog express. My train of thoughts has usually just filled up the dimension of time. I guess now it's time to add another dimension by encroaching upon the web, consuming a few bytes of cyberland. No prizes for guessing why this blog space is called the thought station.

This was just an intro. Musings to follow...